Dear Freewebs,

I wish you would work so  can update the damn website. I hate you right now.

Dear Mr. Jims,

I dare you just once to not fuck up my order. I feel bad because I'm practically friends with every employee, but I am still pissed about my numerous screwed up orders.

And last but not least;

Dear Blue Eyes,

Hey, guess what? Fuck you! You called me and asked me to come over to your house to have sex, but I text you to ask whats up and you assume I want us to be together. That's ridiculous! Would I like to be your friend? Yeah, because you were my best friend of boyfriend for a pretty huge chunk of four years of my life and it tore me up to lose that connection. Would I like to have sex with you? Sure, but I also haven't gotten laid nearly a year. My standards aren't at their highest right now.